You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize