Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
