It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
