How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
