There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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