do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
