u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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