a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
