but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
