He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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