She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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