So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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