I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
