I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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