Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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