i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
