Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
