Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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