Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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