i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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