Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
