Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
