our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
