is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize