so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize