Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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