love makes seman taste better
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
