why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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