@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
