Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
