Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
