Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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