My nipple is on Facebook.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
