i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
