I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
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"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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