When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
