grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.