Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.

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  (908): So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later. http://tfl.nu/fk1y
  Replies (8) Good night (716) Bad night (1452)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.

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  (337): I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel. http://tfl.nu/jndo
  Replies (56) Good night (8358) Bad night (939)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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  (816): If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day. http://tfl.nu/k8ur
  Replies (16) Good night (8910) Bad night (1083)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.

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  (270): It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj. http://tfl.nu/3mtz
  Replies (13) Good night (4883) Bad night (850)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby

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  (404): Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby http://tfl.nu/eqgg
  Replies (25) Good night (3068) Bad night (6704)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

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  (850): And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will. http://tfl.nu/iz1b
  Replies (18) Good night (3096) Bad night (918)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.

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  (734): He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine. http://tfl.nu/5uk3
  Replies (12) Good night (3212) Bad night (966)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?

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  (405): Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird? http://tfl.nu/uuel
  Replies (10) Good night (2359) Bad night (814)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  what are we doing this weekend?

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.

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  (708): what are we doing this weekend? (1-708): I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/uvwp
  Replies (5) Good night (2038) Bad night (1153)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (900) Bad night (1405)
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  (530): View more from California

  All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.

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  (530): All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls. http://tfl.nu/uabx
  Replies (12) Good night (766) Bad night (1079)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.

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  (314): Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl. http://tfl.nu/hntx
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (806)
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  (650): View more from California

  My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.

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  (650): My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes. http://tfl.nu/05bk
  Replies (2) Good night (950) Bad night (204)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.

  (716): View more from New York

  The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers

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  (716): Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one. (716): The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers http://tfl.nu/7hy9
  Replies (5) Good night (603) Bad night (306)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.

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  (316): So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory. http://tfl.nu/2ivk
  Replies (2) Good night (217) Bad night (133)

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