I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit