you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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