Texts From Last Night

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  (458): View more from Oregon

  So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...

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  (458): So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins... http://tfl.nu/wa72
  Replies (53) Good night (1261) Bad night (5937)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.

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  (267): i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said. http://tfl.nu/hb96
  Replies (58) Good night (6943) Bad night (764)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

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  (781): My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss http://tfl.nu/yqt0
  Replies (17) Good night (8624) Bad night (1026)
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  (707): View more from California

  You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.

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  (707): You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond. http://tfl.nu/h38e
  Replies (6) Good night (3399) Bad night (920)
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  (510): View more from California

  After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.

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  (510): After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip. http://tfl.nu/y98z
  Replies (4) Good night (1464) Bad night (1774)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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  (613): We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed. http://tfl.nu/xcuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2819) Bad night (981)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...

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  (774): Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face... http://tfl.nu/rmtg
  Replies (13) Good night (2856) Bad night (1259)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.

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  (813): I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said. http://tfl.nu/j7o9
  Replies (7) Good night (761) Bad night (1950)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.

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  (812): Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them. http://tfl.nu/jsyg
  Replies (4) Good night (1353) Bad night (733)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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  (918): Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met. http://tfl.nu/7r98
  Replies (3) Good night (2440) Bad night (655)
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  (805): View more from California

  Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.

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  (805): Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012. http://tfl.nu/u0sr
  Replies (3) Good night (1237) Bad night (687)
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  (760): View more from California

  Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.

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  (760): Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security. http://tfl.nu/lxl5
  Replies (9) Good night (1519) Bad night (495)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours

  (646): View more from New York

  This text was so worth waking up to

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  (407): I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours (646): This text was so worth waking up to http://tfl.nu/6rgp
  Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (326)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You pole danced in your parka.

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  (443): You pole danced in your parka. http://tfl.nu/lknf
  Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (273)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.

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  (405): Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking. http://tfl.nu/sqkf
  Replies (28) Good night (664) Bad night (389)

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