i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
