I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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