Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
