Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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