Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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