he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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