bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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