im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
