I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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