he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize