Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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