About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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