Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
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I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You ruined the universe
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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