we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
