my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
where are my eyebrows?
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