It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
