Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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