she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
