I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize