Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
