PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
