Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
